I stumbled across the following essay – a letter to an adoptable dog. Elaine Sichel outlines her qualifications as a dog companion, and hopes the dog will agree.
I showed it to Auntie Laura and said that I hoped one day to have a resume like that. And she gave me a list of jobs I already have. And that got me thinking … today is Labor Day. I decided to put off doing some things for my day job, and make a list of things I do in my job as Bosco’s person. And that got me thinking about what Bosco does, which he perceives as his job.
Me: Motivation Booster
Bosco is perfectly happy lying on the sofa all day. He has a history of refusing to go for walks. I make going out fun.
Bosco: Motivation Booster
I am perfectly happy sitting on the sofa all day. I have a history of losing several hours to Candy Crush. Bosco makes going out fun.
Me: Security Shield
Whether it’s a throng of squealing children or a hundred geese in the park, I will stand between Bosco and the scary stuff.
Bosco: Freak Deterrent
There are lots of … unusual people in the city, and many of them feel a need to share their unusualness with passersby. But not with Bosco around. Let’s just say his appearance makes them think twice. Number of freak encounters before Bosco? At least one a day. Number since? ZERO in a year.
So Bosco can sleep with his head upright, and see the world square on when he opens his eyes.
Bosco: Nap Monitor
When I’ve napped enough, Bosco yanks off my blanket.
Me: Ear Swabber
That boy could grow potatoes in there, and I have to keep him clean.
Bosco: Grass Trimmer
I have issues with keeping the lawn mowed. Bosco does his part to keep the grass short.
Me: Remote Control
When he flops on a certain place on the floor, it’s time to turn on the air conditioner.
Bosco: Quality Control
I like to sing loud. Bosco lets me know when it’s bad by gently putting a paw in the middle of my face.
Me: Transportation Captain
Whether it’s to the park, a play date or the doctor, I take Bosco where he needs to go in a Honda Element specially configured so he can sprawl out.
Bosco: Upholstery Protector
Bosco covers the sofa and makes sure that it doesn’t get sun-faded.
Me: Snack Baker
What started as a simple fundraiser for work turned into an on-going duty. After all these weird toxic food issues, I feel better making Bosco’s snacks myself.
Bosco: Bacon Taster
He would like it to be an on-going duty. It’s possible the bacon could be tainted, and he thinks he should make sure every piece is okay.
Bosco: Carnival Teddy Bear
He’s so cuddly, I can can’t help but hug him and squeeze him and kiss him and love him and call him good boy. This used to freak him out. But here’s his little secret: he’s starting to LIKE IT…
Me: Human Thunder Shirt
This is the one I take most seriously, and I think about every day. Last October Bernadette Peters told me that Bosco wore a thunder shirt at the shelter to help control his anxiety. I’d never heard of a thunder shirt, and asked her to tell me more about it.
“He doesn’t need one now. He’s got YOU.”
That’s a good job. Happy Labor Day.