Sleepy Seuss

I just finished an enormous, all consuming project, and Bosco was very patient and supportive. I had to go away to finish the last part, and Bosco had to stay at his hotel. Since coming home, all we’ve done is sleep.  And write this little ditty, based on the Dr. Seuss poem one fish, two fish:

relaxed downstairs

One bed two bed

Soft bed firm bed

Three bed four bed

Big bed huge bed

upstairs

Mine is very big and wide

Bosco’s all have plumped up sides

In our beds we like to hide!

downstairs blanket

Blankies red and blankies blue.

Some are old and some are new.

Some are  bought and some are made.

And the sofa’s made of suede.

sofa

Why do we have so many here?

Because we like

Choices for our rear.

downstairs

Some we hang out on together.

But not the chair made out of leather.

together

Upstairs downstairs,

Downstairs upstairs,

We can nap most anywheres!

his room 2

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New Year Boscolutions

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Yeah yeah yeah….. It’s THAT list. I set some goals for Bosco and myself. Bosco’s added some goals of his own.

1. We will teach Bosco to be confident when he’s away from the house.

Bosco visiting his old friends at BARC Shelter

Bosco visiting his old friends at BARC Shelter

1a. Bosco will decide to get out of the car on a case-by-case basis.

2. We will explore new places together,and travel to places beyond our routine spots.

2a. The maniac at the wheel will accelerate and brake smoothly, and stop tossing Bosco around.

3. We will walk more often, and further.

3a. Bosco suggests we take up jogging on our walks, especially if firecrackers, basketballs or church bells are on the way.

4. We will make decisions that are best for each of our health.

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4a. Bosco will eat more cheese.

5. We will encourage Bosco’s playful side.

5a. Bosco will chase a cheese-loaded treat ball. Six or seven times a day, if that’s what it takes.

6. Bosco will continue to use the backyard in a dogly manner.

not a fan of snow

not a fan of snow

6a. The dumbass with opposable thumbs will shovel paths, so delicate doggie parts don’t get submerged in a snow bank.

6b. The one who has the plastic bags will keep Bosco’s one 6″x 6″ spot clean and ready for immediate use.

7. We will reinforce that safety and love are unconditional.

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7a. Bosco will be an even bigger clown, because that results in lots of cuddles. And cheese.

7b.Bosco will also work to achieve the world’s record for deadly farts.

Bosco’s Blatant Ripoff

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Dear blogger: I am 7 years old.
Some people say dogs don’t know about Santa Claus.
They think Christmas is for silly hats and stripey knit sweaters.
But please tell me the truth; do dogs get to have Santa?

Bosco de Lazzara
Allentown PA

Bosco, those people are wrong. They are skeptical people in a skeptical age, unable to believe anything other than what they see. Their little minds think Christmas is nothing more than an excuse to play dress up with fine fellows such as yourself. In this great universe of ours, these thoughts are limiting, contradictory to the bountiful truth and magic of the season.

Yes, Bosco, dogs have Santa Claus.

Santa exists as certainly as the love and generosity and devotion of those two generous women who saved you at your deepest point of despair, who imagined for you a life of beauty and joy. How dreary the world would be without them! It would be a dreary world with too few good dogs, without the faith and poetry of companions in this existence. Without them, the lives and light of thousands would have been extinguished.

No Santa for dogs! You might as well not believe in saints!

You might look in every window to catch sight of dogs and people, but you will not see saints. The most real thing in the world is what you will not see. Do you see the shelter staff and volunteers on the lawn? Of course not, but they are there. Nobody can conceive or imagine the wonders they have created, unseen and unseeable, in the dog-loving world.

You can tear apart a squeaky toy to find what makes the noise, but there is an armor created by these unseen people, the strongest men and women who have ever lived, and no one can tear that apart. Only their faith and love can push aside the wall of neglect and cruelty, and picture the beauty and glory to come. Oh, Bosco, they created your world, which is real and abiding.

No Santa! Thank God he lives forever in these people. Years from now, Bosco – and ten thousand years from now, they will continue to protect the lives and make glad the hearts of big good dogs.

– with thanks (and apologies) to Frank Church of the New York Sun, 1897

Bonus/Bogus

It’s the holiday season.  Last year was probably Bosco’s first Christmas, and he had no idea what to make of my rituals.

This year, however…. He’s seen it all before. And he’s formed opinions.  And he’s quite willing to share them.

The main thing I do is put up a fake tree that probably has more lights and ornaments than the other trees on my block – combined.

tree

Last year I half expected Bosco to wipe it out, but with a few exceptions, he didn’t bother it at all. Once was the intentional removal of one ornament, for the sole purpose of seeing my reaction.  Note that this year, the bottom section does not have the same ornament density as the rest of the tree.  That’s because Bosco’s tail is very strong. A good wag cuts through an ornament like a hot knife through butter.

He wanted to participate this year.  He likes the ornaments, and enjoys sniffing the boxes – since they’re all from my family or thrift stores, I imagine they are quite stinky.  I never ever want to know what he’s smelling.  He thought the bead garlands were a lot of fun, and enjoyed trailing behind them as I wound them around the tree – until I didn’t see him, and stepped on him.  That was the end of his decorating dreams.  He promoted himself to supervisor and watched from the other side of the room.

The holidays are running 50/50 for him.  Either something is wonderful, or it’s dreadful. Every event has a little bit of both.

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BONUS:

I got a present!  A blanket of my very own.

IMG_2097.

BOGUS:

My person’s blanket is bigger.  And it matches me. It should be mine.

big quilt.

BONUS:

We got another present! It was a big box of cheese and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaconnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…..    I got to play with the box.

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BOGUS:

I only got to play with the box. No cheese or bacon for me.

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BONUS:

I got another present!  It was sitting on a table and I found it and I played with it all day. It was soft and squishy.  Since I found it, I got to keep it.

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BOGUS:

sweaterIt wasn’t a toy.

poutingI was so traumatized that I took my teddy and went to bed.

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BONUS:

sitThe tree is done! Now I get to pose for pictures and practice my “sit” and get rewarded.

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BOGUS:

hatI should have eaten this hat last year.

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BONUS:

normal poseI got some cheese!  I am very handsome.

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BOGUS:

santa photo

The only reason I’m doing this is that it’s damn good cheese.

And I’m gonna eat the hat.

A Part ……. or Apart?

photo

Trying something new today – a podcast.  Okay, to be honest, I recorded this last night while I was driving, and I don’t want to transcribe it.

Part 1:

Bosco touring Lisa's enormous yard

Bosco touring Lisa’s enormous yard

The book I mentioned is called “I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in this Relationship.” Ummm…  yes you are.

Part 2.  I lost patience with garage band and trying to split this up into sections.  So somewhere around 3:14, scroll down and look at the next photo:

the view

the view

Part 3:

Awareness

Last Saturday was pit bull awareness day, and this week wraps up awareness month. I’ve seen tons of stats, and this one really stayed with me:

On average, 22 people are attacked and killed each year.

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By cows.

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Now you are aware, and I bet from now on, you will cross the street whenever you encounter a cow.

A certain cow-spotted fellow and I are building our awareness.

I now know that when at a vet’s office, to ask what the side effects of steroids are. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say they were extreme, and had me worried that we’d lost ground in building Bosco’s confidence.

nervous

I am aware that a large dog who consumes 4 quarts of water each day needs to release 4 quarts of water each day, regardless if I am home or not. Bosco is aware that towels are extremely absorbent. The county water authority is aware that I am doing lots of laundry and they will make more money from me this month.

We each became very aware of food. Bosco did not know that wonderful things like peanut butter and cream cheese existed, and does not care that there are pills jammed in them. Now he knows to wait until my back is turned to stand up on the counter and eat out of the containers. Now I know to close lids and put things back right away.

I have experienced the hysteria of an 80 pound dog who thinks he will starve if he has to wait another hour until supper. I am aware that no matter how ravenous he is, he still will not eat green beans or carrots. Even if they are covered in peanut butter or cream cheese.

We are both aware that he can lose all inhibitions and be silly and super-cuddly, and run in circles and sit ON my lap and demand tummy rubs.

And now that the drugs are leaving his system, he’s ready to relax. He is newly aware of the greatest doggie possession that isn’t food – a warm fleece blanket.

fleece